Family Well-Being from a Parent’s Perspective: Investing in Relationship
By: Valerie Frost
Parenting isn’t meant to happen alone. We’re wired to be relational creatures, and raising children without a strong network of support is incredibly challenging. Yet far too often, child welfare interventions focus on compliance and punishment instead of investing in the relationships that help families heal and thrive.
Research shows that the primary factors contributing to child welfare involvement are not poor parenting choices but complex, systemic challenges, including substance use, mental health issues, and family violence.
According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services (2022), approximately 34% of children entering foster care have a parent with a substance use disorder. Mental health struggles and domestic violence are also significant contributors, often intertwined with poverty and social isolation.
Isolation and loneliness only make these challenges harder. In my own experience, I remember my investigative worker asking, “Where is the children’s father? Where is your family? I’m deeply concerned about your lack of a support system.” This highlights a widespread truth: parenting without strong, stable relationships is incredibly hard. Yet too often, concern turns into judgment rather than support, leaving families without the help they need to build connections and find relief.
There’s a growing body of research showing that social isolation is a serious health risk. The landmark Holt-Lunstad et al. (2015) meta-analysis revealed that social isolation increases the risk of premature mortality by 29%, an effect comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Loneliness and lack of social support are linked to depression, anxiety, substance misuse, and impaired parenting capacity.
It’s important to recognize that parenting is fundamentally relational. Typically, raising children in a two-adult, two-earner household is easier emotionally and practically. Many families do not have this setup due to economic hardship, systemic inequality, or cultural differences. Extended family networks often play a crucial role in child-rearing, especially in times of hardship, but not all families have access to this support, particularly in communities impacted by displacement, incarceration, or poverty.
Punitive or transactional services such as mandated classes, drug tests, or counseling sessions don’t heal families when they ignore a parent’s real-life circumstances and emotional needs. Trauma-informed care and relational approaches that prioritize being seen, acknowledged, and listened to are far more effective in fostering healing and resilience.
There is a growing movement committed to building systems rooted in compassion and connection, and one resource gives us a clear vision of what this can look like.
The Together with Families Playbook, created by the organization Together with Families under the leadership of Sarah Winograd and a team of dedicated parents and professionals, offers a compassionate, research-backed model for reimagining child welfare practice. At its core is a Relational Approach that meets families where they are, listens deeply to self-identified needs, and invests in authentic, trusting relationships. Rather than relying on checklists and compliance, it focuses on human connection—because healing and growth happen within the safety of relationships.
Key components of this model include:
- Addressing basic and self-defined needs: Families are the experts in their own lives. Rather than imposing predetermined services, prioritize listening and co-creating solutions that address housing, childcare, transportation, and emotional support.
- Building enduring relationships: Form non-judgmental, empathetic partnerships that honor a parent’s pace and goals. When parents feel safe and supported, they can move from shame and fear to hope and empowerment.
- Creating organizational cultures that prioritize relationships: Leadership and staff are trained to embody compassion and inclusivity, ensuring systems promote connection instead of punishment.
- Helping families access their dreams and opportunities: Supporting parents in their long-term goals, from education to employment, builds lasting pathways to stability and success.
This model reflects what decades of social science have confirmed: strong social support is a protective factor against child maltreatment and family breakdown. In fact, programs that prioritize community-based, relationship-centered support show better outcomes in preventing foster care placement and promoting reunification.
In the face of systemic poverty, trauma, and isolation, families need relationships that build them up—not systems that break them down further. Mandates and punishments alone don’t fix the root causes of struggle. Healing comes from being seen, heard, and met exactly where you are. Relationships are not a luxury. They’re a necessity.
The Together with Families Playbook offers a hopeful blueprint for how child welfare can shift from separation toward connection. By investing in relationships, listening to families, and addressing both practical and emotional needs, the system can become a true partner to parents—one that strengthens, rather than fractures, the families it serves.
Parenting is a journey no one should have to walk alone. With compassion, trust, and authentic connection, families can thrive, and every child can grow up surrounded by love and support.
If you are interested in learning more about the Together with Families Playbook and how its relational approach can be adapted for your group, organization, or specific needs, please complete this form to access a copy.
This blog is part of a series connected to the Community In-Site podcast, where we dive deeper into the stories and lessons from the growing family well-being movement. To hear more about how you can support families and strengthen communities, check out the podcast at thrivingfamiliessaferchildren.org.
This project was funded by the Annie E. Casey Foundation. We thank them for their support and acknowledge that the opinions and conclusions presented in the blogs are those of its authors alone, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Foundation.
